We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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