like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
