i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
