i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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