the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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