He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
