A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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