i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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