I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
