god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
