If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
