He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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