What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize