Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
