What a fucking waste of an outfit
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
