why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
