She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Randomize