if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
