Betty ford says i'm here all night
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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