Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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