Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
