Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
