That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
