I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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