Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize