Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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