There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize