I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
