The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
