So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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