So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's shark week go big or go home
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
we're so committed to being not committed
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