i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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