Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
