I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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