I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
