Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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