Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I will be naked everywhere
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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