Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I wish you could order shots online.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
