so that wasnt chicken after all
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
