community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
time to smoke my breakfast
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
