i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Pants are for mortals
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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