My hand turned me down
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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