After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
