A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
