You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
