i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
