dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
