We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Terrible idea I love it
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
