if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
