Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
