you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
