i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
