he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
