I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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