my mouth tastes like poor choices
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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