I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Congratulations! We have a period
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
