is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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