Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
