yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
