I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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