wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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