I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
