I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
