I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Randomize
