She said her name was "party"
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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