He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
