Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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