You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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