we're blogging at a bar
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
