So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
