I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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