Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
