she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Dick very happy bro
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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