His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
