his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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