I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
