i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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