Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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