Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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