Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
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