She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
