My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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