Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
