FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
