I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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